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View Full Version : [EDITORIAL] - REAL Gamer Reviews #2


bapenguin
03-03-2006, 06:46 AM
This week's REAL Gamer Review comes again from EB Games.com (http://www.ebgames.com/ebx/editorial/reviews/reviews.asp?page=4&pf_id=257400&intDeptTab=29).
Even though this week's review is from an anonymous source, we really need to examine its thought provoking nature.
Our anonymous reviewer had this to say about Ghost Recon 3: Advanced Warfighter from UbiSoft.

GETING SHOT 3 TIMES IS BETTER THEN 10 MORE REAL
this new game going to be the best gr ever is a new gen of gun and stuff. the reson why you get shot like 3 time and you die b/c gr not trying to be like halo2 where you can get shot ten time then you hide and get your life back.

Is getting shot 3 times and dying better than getting shot 10 times and dieing? Let me ask you Mr. X, if I shot you 3 times, would you rather die or would you rather take 6 more bullets and live?
That's right, 50 Cent (http://www.50cent.com), rap star and video game mogul (http://www.50centbulletproof.com/us/home.html) was shot 9 times and lived. Does this mean one more bullet and 50 is no more? Or after hiding and "getting his life back" can he come out and play for 9 more bullets?

You bring up Halo 2 in your example, saying getting shot 10 times and running and hiding to regain your health is, "NOT REAL." You might want to bring that up to Master Chief, the star of Halo 2. You see, Master Chief is a genetically enhanced superhuman wearing futuristic MJOLNIR armor which comes equipped with rechargeable shields. You don't get any more real than that. I damn well hope the man can take 10 bullets and hide while he "regains life."

Of course, there are countless numbers of people who die from only 1 bullet. That's right, one single bullet. That's certainly less than 3 bullets, which are required for 3 shots. Hopefully in Ghost Recon 4: Super Advanced Monkeyfighter there will be 1 shot and 1 kill.
Why? Because it's more REAL.

boratika
03-03-2006, 06:57 AM
At last the "new gen of gun and stuff" is upon us.

HD era's got nothin'.

phantomhitman
03-03-2006, 07:06 AM
how can you ignore next gen stuff, come on, its next gen!

Meusli
03-03-2006, 07:12 AM
I like the one a couple above him where he goes on about his xbox360, total waffle

AniAko
03-03-2006, 07:15 AM
Reality isn't a necessity in gaming. Of course there are aspects that we expect to seem real like gravity and collision detection, but those are aspects of the game engine, not the game play. They are required to build the gaming experience, where as aspects of gameplay are more of guidelines to build the experience.

If I make a standard FPS there is a laundry list of functions that NEED to exist in my game. Like it needs to be from a first person perspective, and I need someting to shoot. Playing in some kind of environment is also required and I should be able to interact with that environment, like stopping when I hit a wall, or bobbing while I'm in the water. That's where the realism comes in. I expect that I shouldn't be able to walk through walls or on top of water.

Should someone die when they're shot 1,3, or 10 times? If my FPS is futuristic is it unreasonable to include shielding armor? Will a flak jacket take all damage or lower my damage taken from a shot? Do I have a health bar? Will picking up a little white case with a cross on it seal up my bullet holes and make me feel better? This is where the artistic license of the game designer runs rampant on a game. None of these things contribute to the reality of the game.

My opinion on the matter is that if a game was 100% REAL, it wouldn't be fun. In fact it could very well be frustrating, as fun as Bushido blade was, you can't help getting pissed at the guy that figures out the single death blow.

I think it's more real to be able to shimmy up some pipe and climb across the rafters tie a cable to my leg and fall out of the venting system all Boondock Saints style. I could care less how many bullets I can take, I'm planning on taking NONE.

I bet this kid is just pissed because he plugs a Carbine in someone and they don't fall and die instantly because the bullet was from a rifle.

Doctor Setebos
03-03-2006, 07:20 AM
I'm sorry, I have to say it.

It's spelled "dying", not "dieing". :D

Klade
03-03-2006, 07:29 AM
I like these reviews, but I would like them more if they were actually part of the news post and not a seperate link. You could just post them like evil does press releases, put the announcement up front and then on the first post of the review put your review.

jeffool
03-03-2006, 07:31 AM
50 Cent is rich enough to buy Mjolnir amor? Huh, who knew? Fun stuff. :D

But Bushido Blade rocked forty three kinds of ass. Until they ruined it with sequels.

AniAko
03-03-2006, 07:36 AM
Bushido Blade rocked forty three kinds of ass.

43 varieties? I was unaware that many existed!! :eek: You must be an ass rocker connoisseur ;)

Rakael
03-03-2006, 07:36 AM
Snakes on a motherfucking plane.

EternalGamer
03-03-2006, 07:52 AM
Inevitable Winter, my congrats on having the courage (naivete?) to take the topic of conversation in this post seriously and attempting to derrive coherant thought from a place where none has ever existed.

Dan

King Chaos
03-03-2006, 07:52 AM
Ghost Recon 4: Super Advanced Monkeyfighter

Ha ha... good one!

Deadend
03-03-2006, 08:00 AM
Ghost Recon 4: Super Advanced Monkeyfighter

Yeah, it's going to be realistic like gangsta shit up in here. The monkeys will be trained by evil terrorists to try and kill America, and the only force capable of stopping monkeys with AK's are the Ghosts and their specially trained dolphins with C4.

The graphics are so realistic, a vetran played the game and had a flashback, went insane and killed himself in the game and DIED in real life.

Magnanimous Gnome
03-03-2006, 08:09 AM
43 varieties? I was unaware that many existed!! :eek: You must be an ass rocker connoisseur ;)

Well there is an ass like mine, which is tight and untouched. Then there is Kelegacy's, which is loose and ragged. The other forty one are the varieties in between those two extremes.

fitbabits
03-03-2006, 08:11 AM
I've met people who actually talk the way this person writes. Normally in line at Wal-Mart or GameStop.

Dr.Finger
03-03-2006, 08:16 AM
It's crap like this that makes me appreciate how civilized the Evil Avatar boards are.

AniAko
03-03-2006, 08:17 AM
Inevitable Winter, my congrats on having the courage (naivete?) to take the topic of conversation in this post seriously and attempting to derrive coherant thought from a place where none has ever existed.

Dan

You should see what I can do with pasta recipies. ;)

Trying to rationalize things and writing it down is an escape for me. I know this thread isn't made to be taken seriously.

So let me "fit in" and call our reviewer, the 8 year old with AOL bloatband access, a goat fucking ass hat. :)

Rakael
03-03-2006, 08:20 AM
"Goat fucking ass hat"

I like! I steal!

fitbabits
03-03-2006, 08:21 AM
"Goat fucking ass hat"

I like! I steal!
Tea leaf. :)

Mrbunchypants
03-03-2006, 08:22 AM
Any simulator should have lots of real world Pro and cons to it. we see this in many games. Swat, G.R. serise, yes even CS. not to mention other kinds of games like driveing and flight sims. I'm all for makeing games more real...... I just might not play them if that get to real.... :D

AniAko
03-03-2006, 08:24 AM
I've met people who actually talk the way this person writes. Normally in line at Wal-Mart or GameStop.

Yeah, what's worse is a GameCrazy near me the workers actually talk like that.

You know one tried to convince me Halo 3 would be out by spring 2006 and that I NEEDED to put a deposit down on it.
I trumped the fucker by telling him I'd rather put money down on that Genesis game Beggar Prince by Super Fighter Team because that date was realistic. He didn't believe me, so I gave him the URLs to some of the articles covering the game. He hasn't tried to sucker me since.

fitbabits
03-03-2006, 08:26 AM
Yeah, what's worse is a GameCrazy near me the workers actually talk like that.

You know one tried to convince me Halo 3 would be out by spring 2006 and that I NEEDED to put a deposit down on it.
I trumped the fucker by telling him I'd rather put money down on that Genesis game Beggar Prince by Super Fighter Team because that date was realistic. He didn't believe me, so I gave him the URLs to some of the articles covering the game. He hasn't tried to sucker me since.
Genius... :D

EternalGamer
03-03-2006, 08:29 AM
I've met people who actually talk the way this person writes. Normally in line at Wal-Mart or GameStop.

I have too, it's even more troubling when there are two of them and they have a "conversation." It's not really a conversation so much as it is two people taking turns rambling. Every now and then a "yeah but" will get thrown in, but what follows will bear no relation to what the previous person said. I find it seriously troubling and depressing.

Dan

fitbabits
03-03-2006, 08:35 AM
I have too, it's even more troubling when there are two of them and they have a "conversation." It's not really a conversation so much as it is two people taking turns rambling. Every now and then a "yeah but" will get thrown in, but what follows will bear no relation to what the previous person said. I find it seriously troubling and depressing.

Dan
Hell, I totally know what you mean. I find it somewhat interesting that people actually converse like that and can carry a conversation into the realms of the ridiculous without intending to.

One time, at band camp...

Conner Dain
03-03-2006, 08:38 AM
Don't gamers play games to avoid reality?

AniAko
03-03-2006, 08:43 AM
Don't gamers play games to avoid reality?

No we secretly play them to get better at things in real life. Thanks to GTA I now know how to beat a ho. ;)

jeffool
03-03-2006, 08:46 AM
I think it's wrong to say that I as a gamer am trying to 'avoid' reality when gaming. When I'm gaming I'm doing things that are not possible in reality. There is a difference. It's not like reality abused me as a child (much more than it did anyone else anyway,) it's that reality just doesn't have the same thrill it once did. She's last year's model and I'm looking for an upgrade.

Mortis
03-03-2006, 09:02 AM
Much better, these are the types of "reviews" I want to see in this article.

RandomViolence
03-03-2006, 09:07 AM
It's not like reality abused me as a child (much more than it did anyone else anyway,)

Reality abused me. It's the only damn way I can explain wanting to be a lawyer!

RandomViolence
03-03-2006, 09:10 AM
Well there is an ass like mine, which is tight and untouched. Then there is Kelegacy's, which is loose and ragged. The other forty one are the varieties in between those two extremes.

Well, when you've worked the 'night shift' like Kel has for forty years, you've gotta get a little loose. Give the man some credit for still raking in the business!

Rakael
03-03-2006, 09:11 AM
Reality abused me. It's the only damn way I can explain wanting to be a lawyer!

Shit. Now I have to dig out my crosses, holy water, and stakes again.

TrackZero
03-03-2006, 09:29 AM
"You don't get any more real that than. "

Editor: I think you mean, "than that." But still good post. ;)

Kefkataran
03-03-2006, 09:50 AM
You see, Master Chief is a genetically enhanced superhuman wearing futuristic MJOLNIR armor which comes equipped with rechargeable shields. You don't get any more real than that. I damn well hope the man can take 10 bullets and hide while he "regains life."


Hahaha. Gold. Absolute gold. This is practically the highlight of my week. :p

Magnanimous Gnome
03-03-2006, 10:59 AM
No we secretly play them to get better at things in real life. Thanks to GTA I now know how to beat a ho. ;)


With brass knuckles?



Well, when you've worked the 'night shift' like Kel has for forty years, you've gotta get a little loose. Give the man some credit for still raking in the business!


True - he's now at more than 1 million served!

Dr.Finger
03-03-2006, 12:13 PM
Don't gamers play games to avoid reality?
I think it's better to say gaming is 'escapisim', just like most mass media.

ProfPuppet
03-03-2006, 01:01 PM
Whee, nobody posted this yet so I get to. I'm sure this isn't news to anyone, but I figured I'd post it anyway.

One of the standard things when making a vaguely realistic game (IE not Super Monkeyball, but FPS and the like) is balancing the realism vs gameplay.

In Ghost Recon style games, they aim more for realism, thus the 1-shot 1-kill thing. In something like, say, Resident Evil 4, you can take hits with an axe that would kill any normal person. You can also carry a rocket launcher and a crapton of guns in your invisible attache case, which you can pause, open, and switch to another weapon in the middle of combat. If they had made you only able to carry two weapons or so, and it took a few seconds to switch between them, and you had to clean the weapons and suchlike, gamers everywhere would be pissed. *shrugs*

Even games like Metal Gear make realism 'sacrifices'. Eating a ration instantly, magically restores health? It was either that or have 'Snake... Snaaaaaaake! We're pulling you out, go to the hospital to heal and get physical therapy for that gunshot wound. You can come back to this mission in a year or two.'

So anyway, yeah. Woo, my diploma finally came in handy, even though I figured this stuff out before I went to college. I've always thought arguing about realism in games was pointless- we play them to have fun, not to read a 300 page manual on how to fly that helicopter in the latest WWII game, then get shot by an enemy that doesn't fall for the 'I'm circle-strafing and hopping' technique.

Edit: I killed the thread. Sorry about that. ; )

Grimorial
03-03-2006, 01:56 PM
Reality sucks, we all know that, but we try to maintain. Just imagine if concepts of gaming applied to reality:

1) Eat mushrooms, double your size. *Mario*
2) Take a pump shotgum blast to the face and live. *Counter-Strike*
3) Run down an army numbering 2,000 with 2 or 3 units of warlords. *Rome:Total War*
4) Trap a fairy in a bottle to later release for healing purposes. *Zelda*
5) "Utilize" the power of herbs to heal physical wounds. *Resident Evil*

Im dry on what else to list. Anyone want to help me? Ill post this as a thread once an Administrator fixes my posting rules.

Spigot
03-03-2006, 04:58 PM
It's crap like this that makes me appreciate how civilized the Evil Avatar boards are.
Amen to that. Even in their most troll-like instances, the boards here really overfloweth with intelligence and wit.

Unlike our friend who wrote that stellar review :)

Spigot
03-03-2006, 05:01 PM
Reality sucks, we all know that, but we try to maintain. Just imagine if concepts of gaming applied to reality:

1) Eat mushrooms, double your size. *Mario*
2) Take a pump shotgum blast to the face and live. *Counter-Strike*
3) Run down an army numbering 2,000 with 2 or 3 units of warlords. *Rome:Total War*
4) Trap a fairy in a bottle to later release for healing purposes. *Zelda*
5) "Utilize" the power of herbs to heal physical wounds. *Resident Evil*

Im dry on what else to list. Anyone want to help me?
How about...

6) Rummaging randomly through the dressers of strangers will NOT result in criminal charges *any JRPG*
7) If you jump on a turtle twice, it will retreat inside its shell and then go skidding across the floor. *Mario*
8) Giant chickens can be used as feasible modes of transportation. *Any FF with a chocobo*

Grimorial
03-04-2006, 10:20 AM
8) Giant chickens can be used as feasible modes of transportation. *Any FF with a chocobo*

Hell yeah giant chicken races at that. Especially when you bet on them in a giant golden saucer in the sky.

Ultima Thulian
03-07-2006, 10:47 AM
I have too, it's even more troubling when there are two of them and they have a "conversation." It's not really a conversation so much as it is two people taking turns rambling. Every now and then a "yeah but" will get thrown in, but what follows will bear no relation to what the previous person said. I find it seriously troubling and depressing.

Dan

Stupidity by its very nature is troubling and depressing, especially to a well-educated mind. It's bad enough when children talk like this, but when grown adults do it, it's just pathetic.