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Old 10-14-2017, 05:15 PM   #1
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Pure Evil - Blade Runner 2049 - It Stinks


We bit the bullet so you don't have to. I sat through 3 hours of Blade Runner 2049 and the verdict is -- it stinks. It is literally 3 hours of nothing. The story has no twists, no turns and is predictable at every point.

It is the pinnacle of vapid Hollywood film-making. It exists only because it can exist and not because it brings anything new to the world, characters or acting.

It is competently filmed for sure, but hardly the Oscar-worthy experience you are seeing from outlets who only exist to further the advertising goals of Hollywood insiders.

The film centers around a replicant Blade Runner, Ryan Gosling, who hunts down other replicants. He discovers that Harrison Ford and Rachel from the first film had a child. Jared Leto plays the "bad guy" who wants to create generations to replicants to seed the stars and needs the genetic key he imagines exists only in Deckard's (Ford) child.

What happens next is Gosling kinda wanders around from scene to scene doing nothing except pining for his digital girlfriend (thank you to Ana de Armas for the gratuitous nudity) until he meets up with Harrison Ford so they can wander around for a while doing nothing.

The end.

I suspect that there wasn't even a script here, just a bunch of storyboards for beautiful CGI backgrounds and they let the actors kinda wing it from there. The whole movie is pretty, but exceedingly dull.

I'm normally up for just about anything that kills 3-hours on a Saturday, but this movie made me think we would have been better off seeing the LEGO Ninjago movie or Happy Death Day. At least those would have been fun.
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Old 10-14-2017, 05:37 PM   #2
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Old 10-14-2017, 05:45 PM   #3
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Old 10-14-2017, 05:49 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Avatar View Post

We bit the bullet so you don't have to. I sat through 3 hours of Blade Runner 2049 and the verdict is -- it stinks. It is literally 3 hours of nothing. The story has no twists, no turns and is predictable at every point.

It is the pinnacle of vapid Hollywood film-making. It exists only because it can exist and not because it brings anything new to the world, characters or acting.

It is competently filmed for sure, but hardly the Oscar-worthy experience you are seeing from outlets who only exist to further the advertising goals of Hollywood insiders.

The film centers around a replicant Blade Runner, Ryan Gosling, who hunts down other replicants. He discovers that Harrison Ford and Rachel from the first film had a child. Jared Leto plays the "bad guy" who wants to create generations to replicants to seed the stars and needs the genetic key he imagines exists only in Deckard's (Ford) child.

What happens next is Gosling kinda wanders around from scene to scene doing nothing except pining for his digital girlfriend (thank you to Ana de Armas for the gratuitous nudity) until he meets up with Harrison Ford so they can wander around for a while doing nothing.

The end.

I suspect that there wasn't even a script here, just a bunch of storyboards for beautiful CGI backgrounds and they let the actors kinda wing it from there. The whole movie is pretty, but exceedingly dull.

I'm normally up for just about anything that kills 3-hours on a Saturday, but this movie made me think we would have been better off seeing the LEGO Ninjago movie or Happy Death Day. At least those would have been fun.
i dont think you saw the first one. which pretty much is harrison ford walking around not saying much against a depressing and bleak future. beautifully filmed well acted and frankly most would consider boring at best. seriously your description is not far off. and that gives me hope!

i love the first one. it was a complete flop when it came out. most would still consider it dull.

i hope this lives up to its namesake
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Old 10-14-2017, 05:56 PM   #5
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Clearly, based on my other reviews, I disagree. Now that you've added details I can add spoilers of my own.

Deckard and Rachael are the only known replicants to have procreated which is necessary for Jared Leto's company to produce enough replicants to conquer the stars. They simply can't make enough otherwise. And he has no idea how to recreate that mistake.

This puts two sides of an epic struggle into play. Leto wants to be able to make replicants who can procreate to expand humanities stretch to the stars. The authorities want to kill the source and the child to keep the fact replicants can procreate from being a reality and scaring the shit out of the population.

Leto uses his primary, right hand replicant who obviously hates Leto but must obey to follow Gosling, the pawn of the authorities, as he tries to find more info on this anomaly. During the course of this she begins to admire and even love Gosling despite the fact she knows she'll have to kill him in the end.

Gosling, much like Ford's character in the first, finds himself making personal connections which shouldn't be possible for replicants. For Ford he didn't realize he was a replicant but it really fucks with Gosling cause he knows he is.

At first it starts subtly with his holo girlfriend which he interacts with similar to how Data from Star Trek TNG does when trying to emulate human life. Talking and interacting with her like he thinks a couple should talk and interact together. Later we see him learning more nuance of human emotion when he is able to deflect his boss when she hits on him. Finally when he starts thinking HE might be the child of Deckard and Rachael he starts falling to pieces.

Towards the end, which is the theme of both Blade Runner movies, he does the least replicant yet most human thing possible: helping Ford fake his death to reunite him with his daughter taking mortal damage in the process.

He does this knowing that when the world finds out replicants can procreate it will cause global panic.

The movie DOES meander. There's little in the Vegas exploration that needed to be there, for example. The San Diego part could have been cut down. I suspect there is easily 20 - 30 minutes of crap.

Otherwise I can't disagree more strongly with the rest of this review.

Last edited by vallor; 10-14-2017 at 06:21 PM..
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Old 10-14-2017, 06:38 PM   #6
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I'm glad that others have chimed in because I was taken aback by the dismissive conclusion that "it stinks." Was it too long? Almost certainly, but I was also thoroughly entertained from start to finish. I should note that "Blade Runner" is my favourite movie.

I'm surprised no one has made mention of the sound production or the soundtrack in these posts. I saw it in EMAX (Emagine's version of IMAX) opening night and was blown away by both elements.

I also liked that it wasn't as monochromatic as the the original film visually. It was really cool seeing the different regions surrounding LA and their different looks and feels.

The way that it showed you how various techs worked intuitively instead of having to explain things was quite elegant too (think the harpoon-kite spinner disabler for instance).

It certainly isn't a movie for someone expecting an action romp or fact pacing but, as was pointed out above, neither was the original. In that way, I think it made for a fine sequel (finally!).
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Old 10-14-2017, 07:46 PM   #7
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It is a well known fact around here that while Evil is a benevolent overlord, his opinions are always objectively wrong.

If you're a fan of the first film or dystopian cyberpunk in general, watch this film in confidence.
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Old 10-14-2017, 07:59 PM   #8
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If you're a fan of the first film or dystopian cyberpunk in general, watch this film in confidence.
I completely agree.
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Old 10-14-2017, 08:42 PM   #9
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Too often lately this site is just "anti-"... like it's a mission now or something.

I used to come here for intelligent, balanced, thoughtful reviews on things video games/film/comic/etc.

"It stinks"???

Sigh.
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Old 10-14-2017, 08:50 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DingBat View Post
Too often lately this site is just "anti-"... like it's a mission now or something.

I used to come here for intelligent, balanced, thoughtful reviews on things video games/film/comic/etc.

"It stinks"???

Sigh.
We haven't had someone do a "real" review for a while. Not sure why; I assume most people are like me and don't have the time to sit down and crank something official out or the money to do it in a timely manner.
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Old 10-14-2017, 09:45 PM   #11
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I did not like it either, and the original is my favorite movie of all time.
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Old 10-14-2017, 10:04 PM   #12
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I did not like it either, and the original is my favorite movie of all time.
I love the original film, this was just a pointless extension of that storyline. They made it because they could, not because anyone had anything meaningful to say about those characters or that world -- or even something original to say about what it means to be human (like Ex Machina does).
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Old 10-14-2017, 10:56 PM   #13
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Its almost insulting that people thing this movie was bad. But everyone has a right to their own opinion. The only thing wrong with it was Jared Leto scenes. remove his 10 minutes and you have a perfect movie just like the original. It was very well paced, great music and made you think.

When I left the theater I heard bunch of people said they just didn't get it or it was weird. Didn't think much of it until this thread and I realize its a movie for people who actually pay attention and like intellectual movies. DO NOT GO TO THIS MOVIE thinking its gonna have everything explained to you. Movies that hold your hand are boring.
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Old 10-14-2017, 11:02 PM   #14
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Spoiler**************

Also Deckard isn't a replicants as the movie leads you to believe and the first movie leaves open ended (the book doesn't its clear he isn't). Rachael is one the plot revolves around getting her back to figure out how his was able to carry a child. Its a great story and I just don't see how anyone that liked the first one, thought this was dull.
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Old 10-14-2017, 11:15 PM   #15
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Jesus dude...you might want to put some of that plot stuff behind a SPOILER and not on the front page like that. If I hadn't seen the film already I'd be fucking pissed.
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Old 10-14-2017, 11:34 PM   #16
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Spoiler**************

Also Deckard isn't a replicants as the movie leads you to believe and the first movie leaves open ended (the book doesn't its clear he isn't). Rachael is one the plot revolves around getting her back to figure out how his was able to carry a child. Its a great story and I just don't see how anyone that liked the first one, thought this was dull.
Um... they don't really even answer that question. Leto's character hints that Decard is a replicant, just like Ridley Scott has been saying for 30+ years, but they never flat come right out and say it.

That's another glaring error in the film, it doesn't even answer one of the oldest fan questions of the first film.
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Old 10-14-2017, 11:39 PM   #17
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That's another glaring error in the film, it doesn't even answer one of the oldest fan questions of the first film.
Hardly seems like an error. Ridley says he was, Phillip K. Dick says he wasn't. Age old disagreement, and you get a different 'answer' depending on which one of the various cuts of the original you watched. The mention of the question in the scene was a nod to the fans and to the people behind it. Settling it one way or the other would've been an insult to everyone involved.
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Old 10-14-2017, 11:53 PM   #18
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Every time I tried to watch the original I found it boring and confusing aside from the special effects. Sounds like this is more of the same. And I'm a sci-fi fan.
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Old 10-14-2017, 11:58 PM   #19
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Hardly seems like an error. Ridley says he was, Phillip K. Dick says he wasn't. Age old disagreement, and you get a different 'answer' depending on which one of the various cuts of the original you watched. The mention of the question in the scene was a nod to the fans and to the people behind it. Settling it one way or the other would've been an insult to everyone involved.
Except that if you are going to make a sequel, it should settle those kinds of questions. That's part of the point of writing more story is to fill in the holes you left out once before and show people stuff they didn't see.

We should have seen something of the off-world that they were all talking about. They talked about all these glorious space battles, why don't we see any of that?

We really see nothing of the current generation of replicants in the movie, other than some vague set-up for another sequel.

There were a lot of things they could have done, this movie did none of them. I just made a comment to someone that I think a Blade Runner sequel would be neat. I hope some day we actually get one. This wasn't it.
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Old 10-15-2017, 01:40 AM   #20
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yep the first did not have a story ether .... but the visual and atmosphere were epic for their time
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