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Old 06-25-2012, 03:34 PM   #1
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METAL JESUS ROCKS!: Barely-legal Gaming Sampler

Ever diligent in his pursuit of excellent videogame fare, Metal Jesus brings us up to speed on his latest man-cave acquisitions--"manquisitions", if you will (not to be confused with a Spanquisition). These latest conquests total up to 35 digital delectations across 12 consoles, with rapid-fire impressions and gameplay footage for each.

Spanning the gamut from Atari to Aqua Teens, Commodore to Capcom fighters, there's something for everyone in this week's jailbait-laden episode of METAL JESUS ROCKS!:




I've got that Aqua Teen game, and it's actually pretty fun. Of course, that's from the perspective of someone who picked it up for two bucks; probably wouldn't have seemed so great if I'd paid full price.
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Old 06-25-2012, 04:42 PM   #2
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I've received quite a bit of email about the Guy Game. Here's the story: the girl in question was on Spring Break right before her 18th birthday, but she applied to be on the show with a fake ID. She presented it to the Guy Game organizers and signed the necessary paperwork.

It was almost 2 years later that she decided to sue Microsoft, Sony and the developer of the game.

Oh yeah, and it's not illegal to own it. You can still buy it from most online retailers including Amazon.com
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Old 06-25-2012, 06:28 PM   #3
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Bloodlines is an amazing game.
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Old 06-25-2012, 06:39 PM   #4
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Quote:
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I've received quite a bit of email about the Guy Game. Here's the story: the girl in question was on Spring Break right before her 18th birthday, but she applied to be on the show with a fake ID. She presented it to the Guy Game organizers and signed the necessary paperwork.

It was almost 2 years later that she decided to sue Microsoft, Sony and the developer of the game.

Oh yeah, and it's not illegal to own it. You can still buy it from most online retailers including Amazon.com
I was working for EBgames right around the time the guy game came out. It made a great conversation piece. Welcome back man I've been missing your videos, or maybe I've just been too busy. Either way, nice one.
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Old 06-25-2012, 10:54 PM   #5
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Bloodlines is an amazing game.
Amazing... and extremely buggy. I love the game, and yet I have to save every time I think I'm going to do something that triggers an event. I have had to reload saves more times than any other in recent memory.

That said, I plan on playing it again it's so much fun.
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Old 06-26-2012, 12:50 AM   #6
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Amazing... and extremely buggy. I love the game, and yet I have to save every time I think I'm going to do something that triggers an event. I have had to reload saves more times than any other in recent memory.

That said, I plan on playing it again it's so much fun.
There's a fan-made unofficial patch that fixes most of the bugs, the latest version is 8.0: http://www.patches-scrolls.de/vampire_bloodlines.php
But it also makes some gameplay changes and has new additions, so it might be best to beat the vanilla game at least once first.
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:24 AM   #7
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The tokyo extreme racer games for the ps2 are GARBAGE btw. They broke ground on the DC and forever they shall remain.
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:28 AM   #8
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Don't make me donate Deadly Towers to "I hate you"
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:30 AM   #9
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Magmax does suck, and vice project doom rocked.
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:31 AM   #10
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Holy shit that 128 is amazing
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:34 AM   #11
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Dia Katana had great multiplayer. Rex Rendar was decent.
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:36 AM   #12
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You love those lost DnD gmes because of Todd Lockwood's artwork. :P

(I may or may not continue to be posting because there's a lack of an edit button)
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:40 AM   #13
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Ugh 80s hair metal at the end.... I absolutely love it in all forms but my dirty little secret is I never appreciated "hair metal" until the 90s....

and by the 90s it was called Jrock.

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Old 06-26-2012, 09:06 AM   #14
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Bloodlines is an amazing game.
Yes, yes it is. <glances over lovingly at his pristine boxed copy>
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Old 06-26-2012, 11:04 AM   #15
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Don't make me donate Deadly Towers to "I hate you"
Oh... just wait my friend. Just wait
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Old 06-26-2012, 11:06 AM   #16
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You love those lost DnD gmes because of Todd Lockwood's artwork. :P
That's the thing about the SSI Gold box RPGs... it's not that I'm gonna go back and play them. But the packaging and art work is so iconic.
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Old 06-26-2012, 06:15 PM   #17
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Oh... just wait my friend. Just wait
I'm wringing my hands at the thought of Spelunker or Milon's Secret Castle, hmmm but those are just controller throwing difficult. Your Barbie's Dream Horse Adventure adds a nice touch of humiliation. If you make him play Muscle March, you'll have an Epic episode on your hands.

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Old 06-26-2012, 09:06 PM   #18
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play Muscle March, you'll have an Epic episode on your hands.

Oh....My....GAWD that game looks too funny! Wow. DMP would KILL me... Damn. That's perfect!
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Old 06-26-2012, 09:16 PM   #19
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If I may suggest a game for a future episode of I Hate You, it'd be Pepsi-Man. I don't think it came out in the U.S. but if you can find it, or even download it, it would make for some awesome drunk fun.
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Old 06-26-2012, 09:16 PM   #20
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I have a bootleg copy but unless your PS1 is modded, it won't play.
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